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My Funny Ear

Friends, Romans, Countrymen,
Lend me your ears.
A goblin has dredged a crevice in mine,
Which pretty little pixies traverse to mine.

Cats in pyjamas of summer polkas and stripes,
Flat-bottomed, egg-bottomed, blown round and wide,
They're minding their business, you'd be happy to hear,
I'd be too, if it weren't in my ear.

Frogs and dormice in attire to commend,
A mish-mash of retro and the current trend,
So if you hear a splash, or a splosh or a squash
Or a crunch or the slurp of crimson squid-broth,
My dear, didn't they teach you, it's stark rude to peer,
Into the depths, well, of a not-so-ordinary ear.

Witches and wizards and angels and fairies,
They won't be dancing to samba at Prairies,
They've all just made bed -and turned on the light,
And I'll tell you where, for ask you well might,
A glimpse of my head, and a glance left and right,
That's just bulbs of argon with a slight ignite.

Granny and Grandpa are going gaga,
They're hell-bent on having a snoring saga,
So if you hear a grunt, and then a detach,
It's me your eyes are going to catch,
But I'd like to make a few things clear,
There's a malicious malfunction inside my ear.

And now, for desert, for desert is sweetest,
My elvish ears have stood the BIG test,
My splendid guests have had a splendid time,
And for the gift they've given me I'd call it no crime!
For I'd prefer a teddy-bear-hug to routine mug,
 And if you second that with a nod and not a shrug,
My ears are all open for you to conjure,
Whenever the teacher makes you snore.



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