"When I was a little boy, my mom used to say, 'Son, the most powerful, the most dangerous creature on this whole Earth is a woman who knows how to think.' "
- Richard Williams, father of the Williams sisters (Venus Williams and Serena Williams)
After a long sojourn from watching movies in the theatre, I finally paid a visit to the big screen last week. :) I cannot express my elation at entering the Multiplex Theatre. Absence truly had made the heart grow fonder! If you find me tripping to the movies more often now onwards than before, once the restrictions are uplifted, of course, these two years will have been responsible for it.
The choice of movie was fortuitous. However, there's no denying that I am a tennis lover, which means that the tale of the legendary Williams sisters had always been on my 'To-Watch' list. So we booked two seats for 'King Richard', a biopic of sorts tailored around the pivotal role played by Richard Williams in launching his daughters as would-be-unbeatable tennis champions.
From my knowledge of sports-centric biopics and biographies, I had a fair idea of what to expect. From ''Dangal', I had discerned the multiple hats that a parent-cum-coach has to wear, the conflict between indulgent parent and no-nonsense stickler-for-rules-coach that he or she must face nearly every day, and the sacrifices the parent in him or her has to make to give way to the unyielding, unrewarding, yet gloriously effective mentor and coach.
In his autobiography, 'My Story', the 21-Grand-Slam winner Rafael Nadal describes his relationship with his uncle and coach, Uncle Toni, in similar terms, stating that as an adolescent training for Junior tournaments, his mind often wandered, but Coach Toni always brought it back on track with a stiff reprimand or two.
I think a coach's role is overwhelmingly tough, but a parent molting into a coach, and vice-versa, is a challenge one tier higher. No parent enjoys Tiger parenting, and no coach relishes molly-coddling.
So, where is the thin line that one should tread? It is the answer to this very question that I found in the film.
In a win-win solution, Richard Williams' strategy was to wear the same hat at all times, rather than shuffling between 'reprimanding coach' and 'affectionate parent.' It was to be as firm as a coach at home, yet as gentle as a parent on the court. For instance, while a coach must incentivize victory, he told his girls to always have fun when they played, no matter how significant or insignificant the match. His annoyance at watching parents threaten their children into winning was evident. Being a spectator of parental outbursts, when the child was already reeling under the heavy emotions that defeat brings with it, he grew more convinced by the day, that he wouldn't ever be such a parent. Good play resulted from feeling good, and so one bad day shouldn't leave hard feelings, he thought. It would be pointless to the game, said the coach, and detrimental to his children's confidence, said the father.
Likewise, Richard was by no means a soft daddy. He was aggrieved by the over-confidence that his girls showed a hint of, so he nipped it in the bud by leaving them stranded without a ride home, despite his wife's protests. He drove home the lesson in humility by making them watch the story of Cinderella repeatedly, until they voiced that the moral of Cinderella's story, was that one should always be humble, as Ella or Princess Cinderella, whatever the heights one may reach.
I was impressed by the fact that Richard was prepared to change coaches for his daughters, twice, because each world-renowned coach insisted that the next step for the Williams sisters was for them to participate in professional tournaments at the Junior Level. This was an alluring prospect at all levels- for the entire family- financial, social, professional and personal. Yet, Mr. Williams was firm in his stand. The reason? He was cognizant of the toxic and competitive culture that prevailed in the professional tennis-juniors world, had seen excellent young players burning out by their late teens, and had sensed that going pro was taking a toll on several good players. One such player was alleged to have been involved in a drugs-peddling scandal, and her performance was dipping. A young tennis sensation, he supposed that she had been worn and burnt out by the game, and that the frustration was beginning to tell. Some may call it paranoia, but to Richard Williams, there wasn't an iota of doubt that he would push his girls to the professional tournaments only when he thought that the time was right. And it wasn't now.
Richard wanted his girls to have a good childhood first, a good tennis career second. Formal schooling first, and tennis coaching second. Moral grounding first, and tennis tactics second. For him, education was a means for his family to attain a position of greater dignity and respect in the society. He believed that his daughters should not be denied this fundamental right in lieu of momentary adulation and accolades. All of those were temporary. What you put in, cultivated and earned, was forever.
I loved these glimpses of practicality mingled with worldliness that I got of Richard Williams. We're usually so star-struck by the glitz and glamour of illustrious sportspersons and film-stars, that we fail to take note of what keeps them going in the first place. Their team. Their industry. Their attitude- one of resilience and humility. And equally, we fail to recognize, what can break them.
The path to stardom never looks good sugar-coated. It never is sugar-coated. It's quite a tussle. Yet it can be a happy tussle, not really a struggle, but a series of conscious choices. That's what King Richard shows us, earning his title of 'King' , very rightly, by striking a fine balance between being ambitious and being grounded. If it's so easy for us spectators to get carried away, I cannot begin to imagine the temptations-endorsements, fame, wealth, popularity- for fledging sports stars or movie stars. And for their family.
Yet, to put these temptations aside, to scoff at them outright, is a rare strength. To choose one's inherent values- the bird in the hand, over the alluring baits of prosperity and fame- the multiple birds in the bush, is ideal, but rarely happens. I was in awe of Richard Williams' ability to call a spade, a spade. To discern the bait from the reward. To tell the goading from the helping.
I was in awe of this fantastically balanced individual who maintained his composure after his girls' defeat, who schooled them in values that would carry them forward, both on the courts and in life, forever, who played bad cop only to the point of challenging his girls and teaching them values, who snubbed famous coaches for goading them into dispatching his children to the Professional Junior Tournaments. In other words, he managed to challenge every norm there was to challenge, and do it with grace and style.
Those are a King's qualities, redefined for you. As well as those of a great parent.
Well written Aparna. Keep it coming. Looking forward to reading more such pieces.
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