Hilarious Crimes

 Switching contexts- switching media-

One moment I’m engrossed in Poirot- the next it’s the headlines my gaze is directed on

I clutch my black-and-white awareness Encyclopaedia

And pry into ‘household’ business, in search of a competent con!

I upset the fridge, I rummage through the contents of the trash

I’m looking for evidence that points to the ‘misplacement’ of the cash!

A sheet of blotting paper, perhaps, or a quaint quill pen

But all that greets me is the strong ‘scent’ of the reproduce of a hen!

I might be overestimating the thieves’ capacities, perhaps

Aligning them with those that challenge Poirot

Sleuthing is no child’s play, is it, for those Intelligence chaps

I’m keeping a secret- I’ve got a hang of the plot!

These conmen are under the impression that they can’t be outwitted-

But I’m sure even my little sister will offer resistance

An orange peel, a drop of blood, a faded piece of cloth

I’ve accumulated these clues so far, thanks to my persistence!

I’ve tested the blood, I’m positive (and not negative)

It has H2O and poster colour (a red-herring assumed to be believed)

The orange peel, I’m confident I’d seen a similar specimen at the park

I’ve discovered their rendezvous as well, I’m getting somewhere, I’m relieved!

I’m chewing my pencil, I’m gritting my teeth

It’s high time the foes accepted defeat

I’ve read every article, I’ve skimmed through every page

How much they contradict each other, I wonder!

In the newspaper I find covered the convenient discovery of

Cons who have made the sloppiest of, though minor, blunders!

I haven’t progressed since ages ago, though

I’m still looking for experienced crimes

But apparently it isn’t in my fortune,

My patience is deteriorating as the clock chimes.