At First Sight

Golden halos graze lavender breezes

Fresh marigold blooms caress verdant tresses..

Rose-sprays engulf cherry-blossoms

Soothing lilts in familiar tones traipse in traces..

The ground shakes, crumbles, folds,

And peels into seams barricading 

Heaven from the Underworld.

The skies from the undergrowth.

The ventured from the unknown.

I feel anticipation throb against my chest-

Pain pelting my heart, horror seizing my mind-

The charm of the face, the charisma of the gait,

Lend the atmosphere an uncanny poignancy...

Ripe yodels seize the air, elegant tunes rent the breeze

Warmth embraces me amidst a chill storm

Like sun dappling in unseen corners on hidden 

Mosses, lichen, mistletoe. My eyes are rapt

My gaze intrepid, unwavering, dazed.

Violas and banjos, guitars and cellos, 

Pluck at my heart-strings, rattle my bones,

Only to tune them to their synchronous frequency.

I clasp the nearest object, I am now enamored.

Multiple motifs creep stealthily into unwatched corners

Of my being. The sides of my face curve into

Dimpled joy. My eyes turn glassy, distant-

Enraptured by the figure, dancing into the wilderness

Of the possibilities that the silhouette suggests.

Either this happens, or...

Shaken from my slumber, I glance at the clock.

Its bold, black hands suggest something definite-

Like time. Like space. Like trust. Like regard.

In a fashion like that of Elizabeth and Darcy

Or Jo and Laurie- from the classics-

Expectation arises- a brutal tempest,

Sending tremors through the veins 

Of my throat, and stoking the embers

Of passion. It creates friction

That strikes lightning into the azure

And mauve washes in the unworldly skies

That rest in my gaze. 

Dignity, pride, self-respect - threaten to sabotage

The canvas I've created

Of a glorious, gallant, good-looking

Charming, chivalrous friend-

Like some dagger poised above a cherished

Match made- these qualities that are inherent

In me- ask me questions that often startle me-

They settle like unfriendly ghosts near my window

And bewitch that dazed aura of infatuation

Into concrete levels that are indicative of 

Something stronger, more powerful,

Less endearing, at first glance, perhaps,

But eventually, arresting. I want 

My head to be held high, my bones

To be in my control, my eyes to be alert,

My senses to be discerning-

My heart to be beating, but normally.

While happiness whizzes through the air

In balloons of my childish whims,

Paper boats of ancient days-

I want to be tied to my past,

Mindful of my future, 

Aware of my present,

Which you don't gallop into like a knight,

But walk into normally 

Like a decent, supportive, respectful

Shoulder- with an arm held out

To propel, to comfort, and not just to embrace.

I want to be exempted from the beguiling

Intoxicating rush. And just be complete-

Myself- in control, empowered, unfazed. 

I want no more, no completion-

For I am complete,

No addition, or supplication,

That hinders what is natural

In me, from being itself. 

I want no splendour, no elegance,

I want raw, pure, unbridled

Peace, joy, satisfaction. 

So maybe I am Elizabeth and Jo

All over again, 

But with my very own

Rules and regulations 

Governing love and its implications. 

I've seen what trances

Lead to, the anguish that

Runs through the hell that 

Adjoins the placid heaven-

When looks, grace, the polished exterior-

The gallantry, the flattery, the chivalry

Are taken to be true and absolute.

I don't want those goose-bumps

Or those reveries, fantasies,

They make me want to turn my back

And walk away- a young woman

Who will never cede control 

Of her life and happiness-

However desirable or charming

The demigod that lures them away..

And I am led to question,

Love and longing

At first sight.

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